CONFESSION.

Forgive me father for it has been a long time since my last update. Don't know why I'm apologising to my dad when it's my mum who phones up to tell me what I already know, then signs my guestbook 'nun' in an hilarious reference to her inability to use predictive text.

Anyway, sorry to anyone who logged on to the site to find it unloved and derelict, I've been very busy, and anyway I'm such a technopillock that I have to outsource the update to my web designer. (You have no idea how proud I am of myself for writing the words 'outsource the update to my web designer.') Nonetheless, my profound apologies to both of you.

I did also promise a blog, but then I also promised to give up smoking so it's probably best not to believe a thing I say. Do feel free to leave me a message on the Guest Book (it's what it's for) which does keep things looking current, and I will endeavour to reply. Unless you're an irritating garbled spam message or someone trying to sell me trainers in which case I heartily recommend you fuck off.

A quick precis of events since my last update would read -

July: rehearsing Breaker Morant and working and going to Hong Kong and Macau - great but exhausting.

August: Edinburgh, great but truly exhausting. Minimum of three shows a day, maximum seven. Everything went well (see REVIEWS) although did make cardinal error of letting The Independent and Chortle into my first preview after The Longest Day - won't go into it but was shattered, no technical rehearsal, late start, was all over the place, and got my only poor reviews. On my first day. Which fucked me off quite frankly. That's why you do previews and are allowed not to let the press in Al you complete tit. But it was all upwards from there.

Sept: Cape Town. Restful. Best reviews of my career. Eat that Julian Hall (Independent) and Rosie Carnahan (Chortle.) Then Malta. Go to Gozo, find a restaurant called Chez Andre and have lobster. It makes you feel better about pretty much everything.

Oct to Right About Now: Lots of work really, including fantastic trip to Dubai with the marvellous Mick Ferry and Zoe Lyons, gigs in Switzerland with my good friend Mitch Benn, who has hopefully forgiven me for slurring drunkenly at him about what he says between songs, and just finished a delightful run of Cutting Edges at The Store which is essentially my favourite gig in the world.

FestivAl

I'll try and keep the rest of this brief as I know my friend Sally (see below and 'web designer/typist' above) now wants to kill me. This summer I will be playing some cool music Festivals with bands and chicks (I'm not allowed to touch/ogle) and cheque (to follow.) They and their websites are as follows:

Guilfest - www.guilfest.co.uk
Llangollen - www.llangollenfringe.co.uk
The Big Chill - www.bigchill.net
Norwich Red Card - www.redcardcomedyclub.com
Leeds & Reading - www.meanfiddler.com

Annoyingly a double booking means I'm no longer playing Latitude and a juggler (apparently) means I won't be playing Glastonbury, which is irritating (especially the juggler) but you can't have everything.

BeneficiAl

I'm doing a benefit at The Comedy Store on July 7 for One Child set up by Papa CJ. A fantastic bill includes Roger Monkhouse, Matt Kirshen, Phil Nichol, Mark Watson, oh just come. The link to their website is www.one-child.net.

TelevisuAl

There's allegedly a few things bubbling along at the moment, but as there always are in this incredibly secure working environment, it's probably best only to mention the one I've actually filmed. No Signal a sketch show written and directed by Pete Cain and Lou Bogue for You Me n' Him Productions should be going out on Sky 1 in late August or early September and I'm in it. Infrequently. Well, three sketches, but we shot it at Shepperton a month or two ago, it was a lot of fun and I hope the finished show is as good as the scripts were. And that I'm not shit, obviously.

And that's it for now. Am still waiting to hear on an October trip to Australia, but as bugger all is booked, there's not much to add. And I must keep it secret from Sally to avoid being garotted on landing.

Will try to keep this thing more current from now on. And give up smoking.

Oh oh oh, P.S. Also, keep Jan 19 2009 free as I'm organising a VERY special benefit show that I can't tell anyone about yet ...

Yes! A cliffhanger, I've always wanted to write one of those.

EDINBURGH FESTIVAL 2007

'Obviously' will be my first solo show at the fringe since 2004, and there are lots of new bits from the tour including an appearance from my mum. It's on at the Underbelly from 2-26 Aug at 21.55.

I've spent so much time writing blurb about it elsewhere that I can't be bothered to write anymore here. Google it for God's sake. Or just come along. It will be funny. How's that for the hard sell?
.

I'm also appearing in two plays. Firstly, 'Breaker Morant' for the Comedians Theatre Company at the Udderbelly alongside Adam Hill and Brendon Burns amongst others. It's already a Hot Ticket in The Edinburgh Evening News which is brilliant considering we haven't even started rehearsals yet. Secondly, 'Coffee' a new play by James Campbell at C venue in which I don't say anything. Which will be a relief. Mostly to those around me.

LINKS:

• www.edfringe.com
• www.underbelly.co.uk
• www.fatcatproducts.co.uk

OFF TO FOREIGN SHORES ... AGAIN

I was thinking after Edinburgh it would be nice to go away somewhere hot, so I am irritatingly pleased to say I'll be compering the main arena at the Capetown Comedy festival in September, because, in the immortal words of Roger Monkhouse, 'I don't like paying for my holidays either.' Although I would like to point out that my time on the comedy circuit has stood me in very good stead when it comes to working very hard and being on holiday at exactly the same time.

Click here for further details - www.comedyfestival.co.za

I am going to try and do a blog, mainly cos my wonderful friend Sally who does my website comes ever closer to not being my wonderful friend anymore every time I bombard her with longwinded updates. You can feel the tension from Melbourne, where she lives, so I thought I'd try and do little updates and gentle musings occasionally to save her stress. Although I am gleaning enormous amusement from the fact that she 's going to have to type up this bit about how annoying it is to type bits up for me.

No Laughing Matter at The Comedy Store

I'm doing a benefit for The Refugee Council at The Comedy Store on June 18 mainly to annoy the Daily Mail, though it's sure to feature heavily in the Express as well. Excellent bill includes Shappi Khorsandi who's a foreigner herself and only married that nice Christian Reilly in order to bring down the system from within, as well as Jeff Innocent who's from The East End and Paul Thorne who lives there, so we're bound to hear lots of stuff about 'manor's' going 'to the dogs' and I'll be a lone voice of sanity. Come along.

For further info - www.therefugeecouncil.org.co.uk

My friend Dara Herlihy took some photos of me at Maxwells Full Mooners in March which are now in my PHOTOS section (crazy, I know.) I would just like to point out that it was very late, but I was funny, no matter how...erm, relaxed I look. Whoever let me walk on stage with a champagne flute has been spoken to.

DOUBLED UP UPDATE
'Doubled Up', my European tour with Silky finished at the Midlands Art Centre June 6. We are still talking, the vast majority of the shows were lots of fun and included audiences, which was a bonus. I think my favourite one was at Theatre Clwyd where we had 280 or so in, but the feedback was positive from all of them. We made critics choice twice in both The Times and The Independent where I was consistently 'Urbane' and Silky was consistently 'Liverpudlian,' and below are some reviews:

• Chortle.co.uk (and thank you to all the lovely people who added nice comments)
• Hullvibe

There's also one from Luxembourg but all the important bits are over in the REVIEW section as there's quite enough stuff about Silky here already.

APRIL 1 BENEFIT GIG FOR TEMWA
Fantastic bill includes Lee Mack and the lovely Ben Norris. Come on down to a great bill at one of the worlds best clubs to help other people and thus feel good about yourself, briefly mitigating your liberal guilt. What's not to like?

More info: CLICK HERE

29th March - The Best Late Show In The World Ever - Full Mooners at The Comedy Store.

I will be howling at the moon with the marvellous Andrew Maxwell for the first time since last years Edinburgh Festival. There is quite the hell of a bill for the last show of the season - the masterful Stewart Lee, and quite possibly the lovely in a slightly ill way We Are Klang. And me. And breakdancers and Sir Tim. And of course the heart-stopping Lady Carol.

Look here for further madness - myspace.com/fullmooners

2007 EUROPE & UK TOUR ANNOUNCED
Kill for a Seat Ltd and Brett Vincent for Underbelly Promotions present:

Alistair Barrie & Silky: Doubled Up
Two of the finest comedy minds of their generation take their friendship to the limit with a groundbreaking tour/exercise in humility. If you like a double shot of intelligence with your sense of humour, if you like charm with your filth, if you’re tired of all style and no substance, then these two young (ish) comedians are just what you’ve been needing. Throughout April and May 2007, with dates already confirmed across the UK and Europe, come and laugh like a drain. Straight up, stand-up? Doubled Up.

Alistair Barrie
Alistair has been performing comedy professionally for almost an entire century (this one.) He has now upset people on most major continents, and is seriously considering the offer of a residency in the Arctic Circle in late 2007 in order to irritate the penguins. A regular member of The Cutting Edge team at London's world famous Comedy Store, where he shamelessly attempts to introduce knob gags disguised as satire, Alistair has also appeared many times on Radio and TV, including The World Stands Up for Paramount, Green Wing for Channel 4, Loose Ends for BBC Radio 4 and BBC News 24 as a pundit, not an item.

Unhappy with regular and fulfilling, not to say lucrative, work all over the world, Alistair has chosen to travel the length and breadth of these fair isles in a comedic fashion, mainly because Silky owes him £50 and this seemed to be the easiest way of tracking him down.

'Brilliant' - Time Out
'Alistair Barrie leads the field' - The List
'A massive talent' BBC
'A highly topical comedian who exudes a confidence of delivery envied by many other comics' - Venue magazine
'Leaps from the highbrow to the gutter in the draw of a breath - ****' - Metro
'Barrie's a natural...with an incisive intelligence behind his hilarious punchlines - ****' - Chortle.co.uk

Silky
‘Witty, poignant, beautifully intimate comedy’ Sheffield Comedy Festival

Silky loves to make people laugh, and has cheapened that by doing it for money since 1994. He’s been a bin man, a milk man, an evolutionary geneticist, and survived being reported dead to the Police. Having attracted rave reviews for his circuit work and comedy festival shows around the world, and pulled off a few international jewel thefts, he’s decided to re-invest the spoils in seeing if he can last a full tour without head butting a handful of pencils.

His songs are fast becoming the stuff of legend, and his personal life is coming to resemble the first ten minutes of an episode of Casualty.

‘On the cusp of superstardom’ - Yorkshire Life
‘Silky was upsettingly funny, biting without alienating the audience... left me with aching stomach muscles, teary eyes and a need to buy more anti-wrinkle cream for the laughter lines around my eyes.’ - BBC Online

Visit Silky online: http://www.killforaseat.com/

BEST COMEDY NOMINATION
The World Stands Up (featuring Alistair) has just been nominated for Best Comedy Program on BBC America.

Am going to sit and write first entry soon when I become less scared and more confident that I'm not going to break the internet. In the meantime, feel free to leave me a message in my Guest Book.